This is a guest post by former St.Benedict's pupil Jeremy Mulvey.
I was a schoolboy at St Benedict’s Ealing in the 1960s where, it turns out, a number of the boys I knew were sexually abused. They were abused by monks who are now in prison. I had no idea as a child that sexual abuse was going on. The silence persisted for four decades until victims started to speak up and eventually with media reports of the trials, the truth came out into the open.
This painting is about hiding the truth. The splendour of church ritual dazzles the viewer, sunbeams and incense obscuring things that are not meant to be seen. While I respect the Catholic Church and it is by no means the only religious institution perpetrating sexual abuse, I feel all too often members of such organisations feel pressured to put the reputation of their organisation before the safety of the children in their care.
This misplaced loyalty is now being challenged, potentially at least, by reports from the Independent Enquiry into Child Sexual Abuse. One report was specifically about Ealing Abbey, and the final report covered the entire scope of the Inquiry. Among a number of proposals, one in particular makes it mandatory for people who work in regulated activity or in positions of trust to report allegations of child sexual abuse. The report’s proposals are currently before parliament. Should this proposal become law, the radiance of Rome will, perhaps, become less impenetrable.
The inspiration for this painting came from a chance remark made by one of my school friends at a St Benedict’s Old Boys reunion. When the topics of monks, teachers and sexual abuse came up, my friend mentioned that he had been abused by a monk who was known to us all. His revelation was followed by an awkward silence and a desire for the chatter to move on. How long had our friend’s suffering been a buried secret, I wondered.
I shall call my friend Benedict to protect his identity. As a boy I remember he was rather small, good looking, quiet, and well-behaved. What he said may have been blurted out for the first time in his life, unplanned. I don’t know. Whatever the case maybe, I could not get his revelation out of my head. A still from the film, Angels and Demons, showing a cardinals’ procession in the Vatican suddenly engendered in my imagination a way of dealing with my friend’s wounding memory and the decades of silence.
Benedict, this painting is for you.
If you have been affected by issues raised by this statement please contact: macsas.org.uk Minister and Clergy Sexual Abuse Survivors
Editor's note: It is very common for abuse survivors to delay years or decades before disclosing the abuse they suffered. The IICSA final report estimates that the average delay is 26 years. That being the average, of course some will delay much longer. "Benedict" is by no means unusual in this.
I attended school and was an altar boy in the 80s at St Benedicts. I didn't feel uncomfortable at the school or church personally in relation to the priests or lay teachers, but it's obvious to me that the potential for abuse was present. And now I know there were predatory priests, teachers and abbots around while I was there. Makes me wonder how much it happened while I was there, and how I'll never know. It's wrenching to think about all the abuse that's gone on, and the complicity of the culture around us, the failures of multiple levels of leadership. I wonder about the many people who did not come forward out of shame and denial. I have to say I'm very appreciative of your efforts surrounding the abuse at Ealing Abbey, Jonathan. My family was close to Father Stanislaus and we knew him to be a kind and good person. That said, I've read elsewhere on your site about the Spanish incident that came up in his trial, and I can, with sadness, put aside the wish I have, that my family and community has, to hold him up as a wrongfully accused saint. In fact it seems likely he had his flaws, and even if he was "mostly" a kindhearted and good person, I can believe that he may have had some moments where he gave into some vices that he had mostly managed to tuck away. The catholic priest, sworn to forgo sexual gratification, can turn out to be a strange and perverse animal. The whole organization seems very unnatural to me and problem-prone. I would never trust a priest with my children, and have chosen in any case, for other reasons, not to continue a relationship with the church.
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